January 2006 Archives

...goodbye, Astoria! It's been great, but it's time to move on. Next stop: Upper West Side...

For those who haven't seen it -- the SNL "Lazy Sunday" rap. ("Chronic-WHAT-cles of Narnia!") Big geek love for the shoutout to Google. :)

I'm home sick today. I haven't had the motivation to do much other than watch bad TV -- mostly VH1 Classic. (You almost got a rant about "guitar face," but I didn't have the energy to write it.)

My phone rang, with a number I vaguely recognized -- some "866" number I Googled a while back and laughed at. So I picked up.

"Hi! This is Ron, from the Dove Foundation. Is the man or lady of the house home?"

"Why are you calling?"

"This is not a sales call. I'm Ron, from the Dove Foundation. Is the man or lady of the house home?"

"If it's not a sales call, then why are you calling?"

"You may not have understood...this is Ron, from the Dove Foundation."

"Right, got it. But I'm not putting anyone on until you tell me why you're calling."

"I'm from the Dove Foundation."

"Okay. One word at a time, then: What. Do. You. Do?"

"May I speak to the man or lady of the house?"

"Why are you calling?"

"Are they home?"

"I won't put them on until you tell me what you do."

"Well, maybe some other time then. Goodbye."

Well, gang, glad to see Ron here was so informed about the place he works for. Apparantly, he wasn't allowed to deviate from his script in the slightest. The Dove Foundation is "contacting American families to talk about family-friendly entertainment and how people can influence film makers to produce more wholesome movies." Now I'm sorry I didn't claim to be the lady of the house, as I actually could've had some fun with this. So here's the deal: since I will probably never be called by them again (anguished sigh), I strongly encourage all of you, should you be contacted, to tell them you have kids (a qualifying question, it seems) and then let your imaginations run wild.

Quentin Tarantino will thank you. >:)

This cartoon? True, true.