November 2007 Archives

Today's been a crazy day -- I've been bouncing back and forth to the hospital, to get my eye pressure checked. Normal pressure is from 0-20 -- 20's on the high end of normal. On meds, I've been 19/19, and 20 (left eye)/17. I'm about to leave for my next visit -- it's being checked every two hours.

For the last trip across town, I had to grab a cab 'cause I was running late. In my head, I actually thought, "Oh, crap, I need to drop a chrono beacon and get over there!" I am such a geek! I think "drop a chrono beacon" will be my new phrase for "oh, noes, I'm screwed -- gotta fix it quick!"

Back to Mt. Sinai...

Both of these? Absolutely true. Especially the first...

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Need a dress. Need a dress. Wedding's in...just over five months. NEED A DRESS.

May have found a place for the dress. Can hopefully get an appointment for Saturday. Cross your fingers.

Need a DRESS.

(*alternate title: wedding nails. I *heart* Porcupine Tree.)

I've had two instances now where i hear a popular song, like the song and the vocalist...but can hear someone else doing the song just as well, if not better. It's maddening!

The first time this happened was with Gary Jules' cover of "Mad World," for the Donnie Darko soundtrack. It's beautifully done -- it takes a great, gloomy pop song and turns it into an elegy. Jules rocks the song. But, for this song at least, his voice is so immensely close to Michael Stipe's (R.E.M.) that I keep expecting Stipe's and not getting it. Every time I hear the song, somewhere in my head I'm wondering how it would sound sung by Stipe -- what would his interpretation be?

Same thing now with Gwen Stefani's "Early Winter." Compare and contrast with Shirley Manson of Garbage. (For the short list, try this one.) I hear "Early Winter," and I keep thinking Shirley Manson. And I love the song, and I hum the song, so here I go again, making myself nuts... :) In this case, it's not even just the vocals -- the production style, that layering, seems very similar to me too.

Screw it. I'm going to go listen to Minus the Bear. Oh, wait, they sound like....actually, THEY DON'T! XD

Lots of stuff happened this weekend, so let's hit it!

• My wedding dress arrived Friday night. I'd ordered it from J.Crew -- love their dresses -- and it fit perfectly, but for one issue: my boobs. Too big. Way too big. And I've checked the next size up (which is on order) and you know what? Boobs aren't making it into that one, either. My J. Crew dream may be hitting the skids; what to do, what to do?


• Got so sidetracked by trying on the dress -- and making sure Rob wasn't home -- that I wound up cooking for Friend's Thanksgiving very, very late. How late? I started cooking five pounds of green beans at midnight...went to bed at 4:00 am...


• ...and was subsequently super-tired when we had to get up and be out the door for 9:00. We were seeing a wedding caterer out in Shoreham. Rob tells me I slept like a rock all the way out there. The caterer itself was good -- but then from eating that food, we went to...


• ...Friend's Thanksgiving, where we ate even more food. :) Friend's Thanksgiving is where my high school friends, their spouses and kids, and other friends and family all get together a few weeks before Thanksgiving to celebrate and see each other. It's the one time around the holidays where we know we'll get together, and it's gotten bigger and bigger every year. Everyone brings a dish -- there's always plenty of good food and fun times. This year may have been our biggest yet -- we had almost 50 people. Folks at certain ends of the tables were told, "Make sure you've gone to the bathroom -- you're not getting up for the next two hours!"
  
  Lots of fun -- everyone's kids have gotten soooo big -- and we got to tell everyone when our wedding day is!


• Stayed home yesterday and recovered. My baby Druid and baby Warlock are not quite so little anymore -- I dinged them both to 30 yesterday. : sniff : They're just growing so fast...

Take everything I wrote here and chuck it. I saw my retinologist yesterday for a checkup, and we discovered the pressure in my left eye (my problem eye) was through the roof. Normal pressure is 1-20...my left eye had been riding around 21, both on and off the meds. Yesterday? 30. That's pretty bad. That's the highest my pressure's ever been.

Retina doc immediately threw me back on my meds; my glaucoma doc was at a conference, but I got a message tonight asking me to call the office right away -- she wants to see me. I'm a little frustrated, as I'd anticipated this and left my work number to call during the day, but it somehow didn't get passed from doc to doc.

I'm very frustrated. I'd wanted off the meds. Rob and I do plan to have kids, and while my glaucoma doc has told me it's okay to take my former (current?) meds during pregnancy, there is still a risk of premature labor with that class of drug.

What happens now? You, dear readers, know as much as I do. If I come in and my pressure is still high, even on the meds, I'm not sure what comes next. I was tested twice in two months; this is coming as a big surprise to everyone.

I did go out last night, and it was good -- conversation ranged from Second Life to iPhones to music geekery. :) It was great to meet everyone -- nice group of articulate, passionate people. So...fine...R was right. We may be doing it again in December. I'll try the martini flight next time, I swear... XD

In other news, apparently, this is me:

Full results: You are a Benevolent Creator.

• You are a Creator


• Your imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty make you a CREATOR.


• You are independent, and you enjoy your self-sufficiency.


• Defying convention, you are very innovative, and you have a vivid imagination.


• The look of things is important to you, and you have a keen eye for aesthetic beauty in multiple arenas.


• You have a strong interest in what is new and exciting—and that includes forging ahead with new ideas, not simply discovering what is already out there.


• Your eagerness to seek new and varied experiences leads you into many different situations.


• You're not set on one way of doing things, and you are creative when it comes to finding novel solutions to complex problems.


• You trust yourself to be innovative and resourceful.


• Your confidence allows you to take your general awareness and channel it into creativity.


• You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.


• You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.


• You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.

If you want to be different:

• Appreciate the earthly, practical elements of things—there is beauty in form as well.


• While you are good at thinking abstractly, focusing on details a bit more may help you discover things about the world.

How you relate to others

• You are Benevolent


• You are a great person to interact with—understanding, giving, and trusting—in a word, BENEVOLENT


• You don't mind being in social situations, as you feel comfortable enough with people to be yourself.


• Your caring nature goes beyond a basic concern: you take the time to understand the nuances of people's situations before passing any sort of judgment.


• You're a good listener, and even better at offering advice.


• You're concerned with others at both an individual and societal level—you sympathize with the plights of troubled groups, and you can care about people you've never met.


• Considering many different perspectives is something at which you excel, and you appreciate that quality in others.


• Other people's feelings are important to you, and you're good at mediating disputes.


• Because of your understanding and patience, you tend to bring out the best in people.

If you want to be different:

• You spend a lot of time taking care of others, but don't forget to take care of yourself!


• Sometimes you can get overcommitted, and when you sacrifice spending time with those close to you, it can make them feel unimportant.

Not all of this is right -- the social ease, particularly -- but most of it's true. :) w00t!

So I'm probably meeting a group for drinks tonight, from the Nonprofit Commons project in Second Life. I say "probably" because part of me really wants to go, and part of me doesn't. I'm stoked to see some of the folks I've interacted with all this time -- but at the same time, I've got my happy little demon voice in my head saying, "You won't know anyone...what are you going to say? What are you going to do?"

R's already been at me, reminding me that most of these folks won't know each other, either, so what's to worry about? But he's really socially facile...honestly, R could chat with a rock and have a good time. Me, not so much. When I'm with folks I know and love, I'm the tapdancing frog -- when I'm with folks I don't, I'm hanging in the corner, quietly sipping my drink.

Some of this, I know, is from my cleft palate. Even though it's fixed, I still had many years of speech therapy...and was teased a hell of a lot...so I'm never quite confident in my speech. I'm just not sure people can understand what I'm saying. I sound like I have a permanent cold because I'm so nasal, and that's after an operation specifically to fix that. (Honestly, I can't imagine me sounding even more nasal...) When I type, that's just not an issue. On the plus side, people can't tell where I come from, which is kind of fun. I've been told I have a Midwestern accent, a California Valley Girl accent ("My name is, like, Andrea..."), and a British accent. I just smile and nod. I've never gotten the "Long Island" accent, which is insane, since that's where I'm from...or maybe that's a good thing.

So, I don't know. Undecided about tonight. We'll see how socialphobic nrrrd girl is doing come 5:00.

Can't we all just text at each other or something?

In New York, there are sometimes animals that you see around the neighborhood. They don't belong to any one person; they go where they want, sleep where they want, and the folks in the neighborhood feed them.

I thought I'd spotted one such dog last spring. I was walking down Broadway one day, and this dog was ambling down the street. S/he was black and mottled gray; cute floppy ears, tail held high. A little skinny, but not overly so. No collar. The dog was not following any one person; it was just moseying on down.

As the weeks passed, I started seeing the dog everywhere. Most often, though, I'd see it in front of Starbucks. It would sit, very quietly, intently looking into the store. I wasn't sure if someone who worked there was feeding it, or if its owner might be in the store -- sometimes, when I'd leave, the dog would be gone; other times it would still be there. Not everyone keeps their pets on a leash -- there's a good number of people who don't, so it was hard to tell what was up.

I couldn't figure it out, and I wasn't sure what to do. The dog wasn't bothering anyone, and it wasn't getting any skinnier -- it was clearly getting food from somewhere. I contemplated calling the ASPCA, but if the dog did belong to someone, that wouldn't be good (although it would teach them not to have their pet loose and roaming around). But the thing that stopped me -- and the thing that really stopped me from talking to R and trying to bring the dog home with me -- was what if it belonged to a homeless person? I could definitely see someone in my neighborhood having no home, or not much of a home, and the dog as their only companion. I didn't want to deprive them of that.

I took some cell phone pictures of the dog on my next sighting, and spent a few nights looking on "lost pet" Web sites, to see if anything matched. Nothing did. I also had yet to see a single "lost dog" poster in my neighborhood, or in our adjoining ones. (In New York, even going up and down Broadway about ten blocks can constitute a different neighborhood. Things change that quickly.)

The dog sightings lessened over the summer. I'd see a flash of the dog, but no more sitting in front of Starbucks or ambling down the street. Until one day, in September, I was getting some coffee, and looked up to see the dog...and a guy!...outside of Starbucks. The guy was talking to the dog, and as he picked up his bag from off the ground and walked away -- sipping his coffee -- the dog followed.

Coincidence? An actual owner, or just some random guy chatting with the neighborhood pup?

I finally saw the dog again this morning, as I was running toward -- you guessed it -- Starbucks. The guy from September was walking down the street, sipping coffee, and talking to the dog as the dog followed him. Two times is not a coincidence -- that's got to be his owner, or he may have even adopted him at some point, as I was thinking about.

Mystery Dog seems to have a home. Thank heavens -- case closed. Moral of the story: keep your pets on a leash. And, if you're in a giving mood, donate to the ASPCA!

Remind me never, never, never to take an entire muscle relaxant if the doc says, "You might want to cut those in half." 24 hours later, I finally feel like myself again...right when it's time to go back to bed. MEH!

Good heavens, this blog's turning into a list of "Roe's stupid, crappy, yes-I'm-getting-older" ailments. Grrrr!

Doc says it's a tension headache. Doc says, in fact, that my neck's a mess, and my shoulders, and my back...the whole shebang is one giant knot and now it's affecting my head. I've been given antiinflammatories and muscle relaxants (for nighttime use), and I have to do heat and massage.

I've always carried my tension there, so this comes as no surprise at all. I've had physical therapy before to try and get that whole area to relax. I used to come home with giant bruises on my shoulders because my PT was going deep -- things just wouldn't release. Hopefully it'll ease up faster this time, and the muscle relaxants will help me to actually...relax. XD Whatta shocker!

(For my WoWpeeps: trying to envision Black Morass on muscle relaxants. Might get the entire party wiped, but it would be fuuunnnn, no?)

OK, no more med crap for at least tne next month, ppplllllllease?

I've posted my pictures from the Village Halloween Parade. These are not the best pictures I've ever taken (hell, at least a third aren't even in focus), but there's something surreal about them that I really like. :)

We were using the class to work with slow sync -- it's where you try to expose your subject with the flash, and the background with the ambient light. Basically, you're trying to avoid the "flash on the subject, black as the background" look. My problem for the parade is that I don't have a separate flash -- I was using the one on my camera. Not so great, when one's trying to get it over people's heads and expose what's on the other side of the street. If I do more of this work, I'll need to go buy a real one. (New equipment to play with, oh noes!)

The other challenge with the parade is that we literally were trying to get over people's heads. Class met for lecture at 6:15, and then left for the parade an hour later. I could have done with a shorter lecture -- I missed most of it anyway, as people were already gathering for the parade around 6:00. I had to go through tons of detours and people (cursing quietly to myself) to even make it to lecture. Happily, a man let me through almost to the front -- but my left arm was completely pinned to my side by the crowds, and I was shooting around some guy's baseball cap. Fun! XD

Last but not least, after I shot most of these, my teacher and I realized that my flash was firing twice. We've no idea why. I got the dreaded, "You know how to fix this? Go home and read the manual," which I'd managed to successfully avoid getting for the entire semester. Frickin' figures I'd get it in my last hour of class. >:/ Grrrrrrr!

Konichiwa!

Was at my glaucoma doc's this morning. Once again, I look like an anime character -- metro-san! -- or someone who's been completely baked for the past week. Eyes are red, lids are at half-mast, and my pupils look like saucers. I'm like a 60s leftover. Oh, and I'm also cringing from the sunlight, but I mastered that skill in L.A. XD

I've been off my glaucoma meds for about a month now, and my eyes are stable -- the pressure is the same off the meds as it is on -- so I see my doc in another six months to make sure all's well. Optic nerve looks groovy. Had all sorts of lights shined in my eyes today, which hasn't helped the ever-present headache...in fact, said headache led to more tests, to ensure I hadn't torn a retina. (I've torn one before; symptoms are just like optical migrane, lucky me...)

But yay! i can stay off my meds! :) w000t, even. Now if my pupils will just shrink in size to play tonight -- and I can get the migrane sorted with my doc in the morning -- everything will be fiiinnneeee.....

Banzai!